♫ Twitter is a Dumpster Fire ♫
♫ Twitter is a Dumpster Fire ♫
With apologies to Billy Joel
Ugh. Twitter. I’m sick of talking about it, reading about it, thinking about it. I’m ready to move on. But before I do, I need to purge my brain of all the Twitter thoughts that are swimming around in it. So here is an incomplete list of all the Twitter memories I can’t shake, but listed in a way that can kinda-sorta be read to the tune of We Didn’t Start The Fire.
Jack, Noah, Biz and Ev By website or by SMS Setting up my twttr South by Southwest Hashtags Favorites 140 barely fits Shit that my dad says Tweets from ISS Oprah @-sign Fail whale Purchase Vine Oscar Selfie Tweetup Edward Snowden Tweetie Tweetdeck Your avatar is an egg First to a million: Ashton versus CNN DMs Retweets Mentions Quote Tweets Oreos at halftime Wall Street occupied Journalists Arab Spring TV has a Second Screen LaRussa lawsuit Now he's Verified Wendy's chicken nuggs Caturday and ugly pugs Fleets Lists Moments Fake accounts and bots Unscientific poll The Dilbert guy's an asshole Humblebrag Bitcoin Crypto bros with yachts Zuck hydrofoil surfs Rowling is the queen of TERFs Bean Dad Zola Release the Snyder Cut Spooky names for Halloween Star Wars fan misogyny Favorites are now Likes Kardashian's butt Milo Yiannopoulos Whatever covfefe is Gal Gadot's "Imagine" Meet the Milkshake Duck GoFundMe to pay your bills COVID cured with horse pills Throw a ball to shatter windows On the Cybertruck BLM MeToo The dress was really black and blue Carlos Danger's weiner You look like Tony Hawk Room's on fire. This is fine. Racists stole the OK sign Trump was banned. Now he's not. Trouble with the blue checks! The boyfriend distracted meme Jewish space laser beam Forty-four billion And a sink from Elon If you can leave you should Hive and Post are looking good Donate to my Patreon I'll see you all on Mastodon!
After all these years, I hate to see Twitter’s demise. I guess I’m still hoping for Elon to find some sense and for the platform not to deteriorate into a cesspool of unmoderated filth, so I’ll continue to keep one foot in the platform and see what happens. But I’m not feeling hopeful. I keep reading about weak points — technically, politically and otherwise — that might cause it to come crumbling down. We’ll see. Meanwhile I’m on Mastodon as linked above, and trying out Hive, where you can find me as @ironicsans.
Thanks for reading as always. Next time, I’ll have something totally unrelated to the Twitter mess for you. I promise.
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate.
David
This is an awesome "poem" 😆 I am liking Mastodon a lot, and will prob book my name on Hive, but wont be leaving Twitter as it is a crucial tool of democracy in my country. I doubt it will completely crumble...tho it mat end up like the walking dead...
This was excellent. And I am a harsh parody critic.